Fragile

..January 2018.. ..Dresden..

A cold winter sunset along the Elbe with the distant lights of the old town descending to an edge. The frost blue sky matches my everlasting feeling of being lost. Is home there or anywhere? I have a home but is it home when your feelings have always felt transient?

You make a home to only feel like it isn’t a home. Then you search again for the next nest hoping it will soothe the inside.

Kurt Vonnegut walked along the right bank of the Elbe before sunrise then back after sunset to dig the dead out of the cellars after the old town was pillaged with fire. Did the same fierce blue follow him back to the Slaughterhouse after each hellacious dig?

Another solitary walk in my lifetime of comfortless walks. It’s not what they told me growing old would feel like. I’ve made mistakes that boomerang. A tear stained loveless evening heard by only one.

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